I started thinking, what am I doing wrong? Not that I am actually doing anything wrong, it's just that, what is it that I'm doing that doesn't attract guys? Or is it simply that my "one true love" has yet to materialise? If so, then when? I'm kind of tired waiting for him...and what did people say about waiting for the right guy to come along? What happened to grabbing the good guys, or else the good guys will all either be gay or married by the time you reach your 20s or plus...SIGHS, I have no clue what to do...it's as if the only thing you can do, really, is to just wait. Or you can get into many bad relationships before that...BUT, then again, what if you happen to be in a relationship when the right guy comes along? What if you miss the right guy? What if, what if, life is full of what ifs, and I guess what you can only do is live with all of life's what ifs. You never know what is what until you try and that is probably also the beauty of life's uncertainty and unpredictability. And you will never know when what will happen and if you are passing by the "love of your life" or crossing paths with him. It can happen a thousand times, a million even, but it may take who knows how long before you two come face to face and get a chance to interact. That's the catch about futures; you will never know it until it comes to you, until it happens.

Undoubtedly, love is like that in a way, shy and mysterious, unwilling to reveal herself and suddenly she hits you with her biggest blow and you will not even know what hit you so bad, so hard, that you are thrown into a deep dark pit and what's most strange and queer is that you will be willing to fall in because you know that there will be this one person to catch you at the bottom and you will actually enjoy the feeling of falling and crave more even as if you are addicted to it. It becomes like a drug that gives you withdrawal symptoms when you don't have it...BUT what's so intriguing is that even before taking this drug, you can already experience the effects of withdrawal symptoms. Because it's like something missing in your life. Yet, how can your life be missing something if it wasn't even there to begin with? Is it simply the hormones? Or it is simply the "powers" that be that are playing with your mind and heart?

Let's attempt to shed some light on this matter. What causes the attraction that pull the opposite sexes towards each other? Scientifically speaking, the root has always been attributed to hormones...god, I feel like I'm writing some sort of thesis...>< no, I don't feel like writing such shit right now, okay, let's get on anyway. I guess what I am trying to do here is explain my "yearning" for love. Alright, garrett will probably laugh at this very topic of love, mainly because he's right two seats from me is why I'm mentioning him.

Anyway, clearly I can mention him because he's not the one giving me these "headaches". Alright, the reason why "headache" is in inverted commas, is because it's not exactly a headache...sighhs, it's more like something tugging at your heartstrings, and something weighing on you but it's not exactly a real issue that needs dealing with, because clearly, you CANNOT do ANYTHING about it. It takes two to tango, two to clap, two to do a lot a lot a lot of things. Which is precisely my point here, there is nothing I can do but wait...and while I'm waiting by the sideline, I shall keep myself occupied with other things. Of course, clearly I have not been occupied with other stuff to be able to type such a long post on this topic . But I promise myself from now on that I will, there is no point in dwelling so long and mulling too much over it. It will be a good little daydream and distraction from the mundaneness of daily life (that is when life becomes mundane), but other than that, I really should not be wasting too much of my time on this. I need to get on with my life, because I have a life and I don't need to convince myself of that fact.

YET, I can't deny that you are affecting my life, contrary to all that I've said above...

I started thinking, what am I doing wrong? Not that I am actually doing anything wrong, it's just that, what is it that I'm doing that doesn't attract guys? Or is it simply that my "one true love" has yet to materialise? If so, then when? I'm kind of tired waiting for him...and what did people say about waiting for the right guy to come along? What happened to grabbing the good guys, or else the good guys will all either be gay or married by the time you reach your 20s or plus...SIGHS, I have no clue what to do...it's as if the only thing you can do, really, is to just wait. Or you can get into many bad relationships before that...BUT, then again, what if you happen to be in a relationship when the right guy comes along? What if you miss the right guy? What if, what if, life is full of what ifs, and I guess what you can only do is live with all of life's what ifs. You never know what is what until you try and that is probably also the beauty of life's uncertainty and unpredictability. And you will never know when what will happen and if you are passing by the "love of your life" or crossing paths with him. It can happen a thousand times, a million even, but it may take who knows how long before you two come face to face and get a chance to interact. That's the catch about futures; you will never know it until it comes to you, until it happens.

Undoubtedly, love is like that in a way, shy and mysterious, unwilling to reveal herself and suddenly she hits you with her biggest blow and you will not even know what hit you so bad, so hard, that you are thrown into a deep dark pit and what's most strange and queer is that you will be willing to fall in because you know that there will be this one person to catch you at the bottom and you will actually enjoy the feeling of falling and crave more even as if you are addicted to it. It becomes like a drug that gives you withdrawal symptoms when you don't have it...BUT what's so intriguing is that even before taking this drug, you can already experience the effects of withdrawal symptoms. Because it's like something missing in your life. Yet, how can your life be missing something if it wasn't even there to begin with? Is it simply the hormones? Or it is simply the "powers" that be that are playing with your mind and heart?

Let's attempt to shed some light on this matter. What causes the attraction that pull the opposite sexes towards each other? Scientifically speaking, the root has always been attributed to hormones...god, I feel like I'm writing some sort of thesis...>< no, I don't feel like writing such shit right now, okay, let's get on anyway. I guess what I am trying to do here is explain my "yearning" for love. Alright, garrett will probably laugh at this very topic of love, mainly because he's right two seats from me is why I'm mentioning him.

Anyway, clearly I can mention him because he's not the one giving me these "headaches". Alright, the reason why "headache" is in inverted commas, is because it's not exactly a headache...sighhs, it's more like something tugging at your heartstrings, and something weighing on you but it's not exactly a real issue that needs dealing with, because clearly, you CANNOT do ANYTHING about it. It takes two to tango, two to clap, two to do a lot a lot a lot of things. Which is precisely my point here, there is nothing I can do but wait...and while I'm waiting by the sideline, I shall keep myself occupied with other things. Of course, clearly I have not been occupied with other stuff to be able to type such a long post on this topic . But I promise myself from now on that I will, there is no point in dwelling so long and mulling too much over it. It will be a good little daydream and distraction from the mundaneness of daily life (that is when life becomes mundane), but other than that, I really should not be wasting too much of my time on this. I need to get on with my life, because I have a life and I don't need to convince myself of that fact.

YET, I can't deny that you are affecting my life, contrary to all that I've said above...